Is a menstruating woman obliged to pray during menses, and should she make up missed prayers?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds A menstruating woman is prohibited from prayer during her menses, and she isn`t obliged to make up missed prayers. And Allah Knows Best.
What is the ruling on istibra' and how is it performed?
Istibra' (cleansing from urine) is recommended. It is for a person to ensure that nothing remains of urine in its passage before performing istinja'. Its method is: to clear the throat (or cough slightly), shake the penis (meaning to pass fingers along it to expel any remaining urine if needed), and walk a few steps to the extent that one thinks nothing of urine remains if walking is needed. Each person knows his own nature best. The preferred opinion is that this differs among people. The objective is for one to think that nothing remains in the urinary passage that he fears will exit later. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
Is it permissible for the mother to give her children from the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money?
It is permissible for the mother to give her children from the Zakah of her money if they are Zakah-eligible recipients, and she isn`t obliged to provide for them.