I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible for a financially capable woman to pay the Zakat to her sons or one of them?
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from zakat if they are eligible to receive it, even though she is obligated to provide for them. This is based on the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding Zainab, the wife of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them): "Your husband and your children are more deserving of your charity" [Al-Bukhari]. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a woman to use a contraceptive without telling her husband although he wants to have as many children as possible and she can`t care for them?
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, may His Blessings and Peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
If the pregnancy is harmful to the woman, it is permissible for her to use a contraceptive; however, this has to be backed by a medical report from a God-fearing doctor. In addition, you had better inform your of what you are doing to avoid dispute. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.