What is the ruling on ablution without istinja' after sleep?
The sleep of one whose buttocks are not firmly seated on the ground invalidates ablution. Whoever wakes up and wants to pray must perform ablution only. Istinja' is not a condition for the validity of ablution, because it is for removing impurity from the private part. If there is no impurity on the private part, then istinja' is neither obligatory nor recommended. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on wiping the white area behind the ears instead of wiping the head?
The obligation in ablution is to wipe some of the head; it is not a condition to wipe all of it. Wiping the white area behind the ears suffices for that. And Allah the almighty knows best.
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
What is the ruling on speaking while relieving oneself?
It is disliked for one relieving himself to speak while doing so, except out of necessity. And Allah the Almighty knows best.