Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

 I`m keeping a plot of land (10 Dunums) for my children. Is it liable for Zakah?

Praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds.

Land that is purchased with the intention of ownership and personal benefit—meaning to retain it for use and not for trade—is not subject to zakāh, as such property is not considered from trade commodities (ʿurūḍ al-tijārah).
 
It is stated in Al-Ḥāwī al-Kabīr:
“If it is property and one intends it for trade, then zakāh is due upon it; but if he intends it for personal possession, then no zakāh is due upon it.” And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

 

What is the recommended supplication (Du'a) upon breaking the fast, and is it recited before or after breaking it?

 
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is recommended (Mustahabb) for a fasting person to recite upon breaking the fast—that is, immediately after eating or drinking—the supplication: "Allahumma laka sumtu wa 'ala rizqika aftartu" (O Allah, for You I have fasted, and with Your provision I have broken my fast).
 
This is because our master, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), used to say this. The narration was recorded by Abu Dawud with a good (Hasan) chain of transmission, albeit in a Mursal form (a narration where a Successor reports directly from the Prophet). Shaykh al-Islam Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami (may Allah have mercy upon him) stated: "Its Mursal status is inconsequential, as it pertains to virtuous deeds (Fada'il); furthermore, it was connected (Mawsul) through another chain of transmission." [Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, Vol.3/P.425]
 
It is also recommended to recite: "Dhahaba al-dhama'u wa ibtallat al-'uruqu wa thabata al-ajru in sha' Allah" (The thirst has gone, the veins are moistened, and the reward is confirmed, if Allah wills).
 
This was recorded by Abu Dawud with a good (Hasan) chain. Our leading jurists (Imams) have explicitly stated that it is recommended for the fasting person to combine both supplications.
 
Imam al-Bajuri (may Allah have mercy upon him) stated:
 
 
"And his saying following his breaking of the fast—that is, it is recommended to say: 'O Allah, for You I have fasted, upon Your provision I have broken my fast, in You I have believed, to You I have submitted, and upon You I have relied. The thirst has gone, the veins are moistened, and the reward is confirmed, if Allah wills. O You of vast bounty, forgive me. Praise be to Allah Who aided me so that I fasted, and provided for me so that I broke my fast. O Allah, grant us success in fasting, enable us to stand in night prayer during it, and aid us in it while people sleep, and admit us to Paradise in peace.'" [Hashiyat al-Bajuri, Vol.1/P.562]
 
Furthermore, the fasting person may supplicate with whatever good he or she wishes, for the supplication of a fasting person is answered. Al-Bayhaqi recorded on the authority of Anas ibn Malik that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Three supplications are not rejected: the supplication of a parent for his child, the supplication of a fasting person, and the supplication of a traveler." And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the Du`a (supplication) of Istikhara (guidance prayer)?

O Allah, I consult You as You are All-Knowing and I appeal to You to give me power as You are Omnipotent, I ask You for Your great favor, for You have power and I do not, and You know all of the hidden matters. O Allah! If you know that this matter (then he should mention it) is good for me in my religion, my livelihood, and for my life in the Hereafter, or he said: "for my present and future life" then make it (easy) for me. And if you know that this matter is not good for me in my religion, my livelihood and my life in the Hereafter, or he said: "for my present and future life" then keep it away from me and take me away from it and choose what is good for me wherever it is and please me with it."

What is the ruling on someone who intends to travel to Jeddah for two days — must he enter iḥrām from his place of residence [i.e., before passing the mīqāt]?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Whoever is firmly resolved in his intention to perform ‘Umrah before setting out on his journey, it is unlawful for him to pass beyond his country's mīqāt (the designated boundary point for entering the state of iḥrām) without entering iḥrām. If he does so, he must return to the mīqāt to enter iḥrām from there, provided he has not yet begun performing the rites of the pilgrimage — in which case nothing further is required of him. However, if he does not return, he must offer a sacrifice (sheep/goat), to be distributed among the poor of the Ḥaram.
It is stated in at-Tanbīh fī al-Fiqh ash-Shāfi‘ī (p. 71): "Whoever, intending to perform the rites [of ‘Umrah or Ḥajj], passes beyond the mīqāt and enters iḥrām only after it, must offer a sacrifice. However, if he returns to the mīqāt before beginning any of the rites, the sacrifice is waived from him."
Accordingly: whoever is firmly resolved in his intention to perform ‘Umrah before setting out on his journey must enter iḥrām at the mīqāt of his country through which he passes. Whoever fails to do so, passing beyond the mīqāt without entering iḥrām, and does not return, has sinned, and must repent to Allah, the Exalted; and he must offer a sacrifice, to be distributed among the poor of the Ḥaram. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.