Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

I work overtime after regular working hours and may become occupied with my phone or the work computer for personal matters — what is the ruling on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is obligatory upon an employee to abide by the instructions and regulations governing overtime hours, and equally obligatory to uphold honesty and avoid all forms of deception and dishonesty. Allah the Almighty says {what means}: "O you who have believed, be mindful of Allah and be with the truthful." [Al-Tawbah/ 119]
Whoever is assigned to work overtime must be present at his workplace — even if he has no specific tasks to carry out at that time. In such a case, he should strive as best he can to spend that time in a manner that benefits the institution he works for. If there is genuinely no work for him to do, there is no objection to occupying his time with something beneficial — such as reciting the Holy Qurʾān, reading, or listening to educational lessons — provided he has already completed all the responsibilities assigned to him.
If, however, he does have work to complete, he must spend that time fulfilling it. He may attend to phone calls or other personal matters to the extent that is customarily acceptable, as long as this does not result in delaying or postponing his work. If he delays his work on account of personal preoccupations, the wages he received for that wasted time are not lawfully his to keep, and he is obliged to return the equivalent amount to the institution by whatever means available to him. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on a woman using contraception without her husband's knowledge if he is mistreating her?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is not permissible for a woman to use any means of delaying pregnancy without her husband's knowledge, consent, and mutual agreement. This is because having children is a sharʿī right belonging to both spouses equally in Islamic law. Imām al-Māwardī, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated: "The right to a child from a free woman is shared between them both" — meaning between the two spouses. [al-Ḥāwī al-Kabīr, 9/320]
It is therefore not permissible for either spouse to make a unilateral decision regarding the prevention of pregnancy without the consent of the other. We advise both spouses to discuss the matter with wisdom and mutual respect, so as to resolve any disagreement and arrive at a suitable solution that serves the interests of them both. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on supplicating with other than the transmitted (Ma'thur) supplications in prayer?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to supplicate (make du'a) during the prayer for anything from the affairs of religion or worldly life, and the prayer is not invalidated by doing so.
Shaykh al-Islam, the Imam an-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, says: "Our madhhab [i.e., the Shafi'i madhhab] holds that it is permissible for a person to supplicate during it [the prayer] with anything that is permissible to supplicate with outside the prayer, from the affairs of religion or worldly life. He may say: 'O Allah, grant me wholesome sustenance, offspring, a house, and a beautiful young wife' — describing her; or: 'O Allah, free so-and-so from prison,' or 'destroy so-and-so,' and other such things — and none of this invalidates his prayer according to us. And this is also the view of Malik, ath-Thawri, Abu Thawr, and Ishaq." [Al-Majmu', Vol.3/P.454]. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the wisdom behind the legislation of fasting?

Fasting is a divine school from which the believer learns much and trains in virtues that may be needed in life. Among these virtues is patience, as it is the month of patience. Fasting also teaches honesty and consciousness of Allah in both private and public, for there is no observer over the fasting person in abstaining from lawful pleasures except Allah alone.
Fasting strengthens willpower, sharpens determination, and nurtures mercy and compassion among the servants of Allah. It is a struggle against the self, a restraint of desires, a purification of the soul, and a cultivation of goodness.
The Prophetﷺ said: "Allah, the Almighty, said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him, except for fasting; it is for Me, and I shall reward for it. Fasting is a shield. So when one of you is fasting on a day, let him not engage in obscene speech or raise his voice in anger. If someone insults him or fights him, let him say: I am a fasting person. By Him in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, the breath of the fasting person is more pleasant to Allah than the fragrance of musk.’" [Bukhari and Muslim]