Articles

Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

I hired a private tutor for my son through an academy that sends teachers [to families] and takes a percentage [of their pay]. At the start of the [new] school year, I arranged directly with that same teacher, without the academy's knowledge. What is the ruling on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The ruling on this matter depends on knowing the specific terms of the agreement and contract concluded with the academy. If the agreement stipulates that no arrangement may be made with any of the students except through the academy itself, then it is not permissible for you to breach the terms of this contract, based on the words of our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ: "Muslims are bound by their conditions." (Related by al-Bukhārī)
However, if the agreement pertains only to teaching a specific subject, and the agreement concludes once that subject is finished, then there is no objection to arranging with the teacher to teach other subjects after the contract period has ended, outside of the academy.
Whatever the case maybe, the teacher must uphold the terms of his contract with the academy. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on praying in congregation at the mosque?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
Congregational prayer (Salat al-Jama‘ah) is a communal obligation (Fard Kifayah) for resident men regarding the performance of the prescribed (obligatory) prayers. For men, praying in congregation at the mosque is better than praying elsewhere, such as at home. On the authority of Abdullah bin Umar, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Prayer in congregation is twenty-seven degrees more excellent than the prayer of a person alone' (Reported by Bukhari & Muslim). Furthermore, on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 'Shall I not tell you that by which Allah erases sins and raises ranks?' They said, 'Of course, O Messenger of Allah.' He said: 'Performing wudu thoroughly despite difficulties, taking many steps toward the mosques, and waiting for the next prayer after the prayer; that is your Ribat (steadfastness)' (Narrated by Muslim).
 
As for a woman, her praying in congregation at home is better for her than in the mosque, according to the saying of our Master the Prophet ﷺ: 'Do not prevent your women from attending the mosques, but their homes are better for them' (Narrated by Abu Dawood). Young boys should be encouraged to attend the mosques and congregational prayers so they may become accustomed to them. And Allah the Exalted knows best.

What is the ruling on waiving a debt owed by a debtor and counting it toward zakāh?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Waiving a debt owed by a debtor, with the intention of counting it toward zakāh, does not fulfill the zakāh obligation. Rather, it constitutes an ordinary act of charity, for which Allah rewards the giver generously — since one of the conditions for the validity of zakāh is that the person paying it must form the intention of zakāh at the actual moment the wealth is paid out. In this case, the debt has already been established as a standing obligation upon the borrower, so it is not valid to simply redirect the intention toward zakāh after the fact.
It is preferable, instead, for the creditor to first collect the debt from the debtor, and then return to him the amount of money he is required to pay as zakāh — or a portion of it — if the debtor happens to fall under one of the eight categories that Allah, the Exalted, has commanded be given from zakāh.
It is stated in ‘Umdat as-Sālik, from the books of the Shāfi‘ī school: "If someone gives [money] to a poor person, stipulating that the recipient return it to him in payment of a debt owed to him, or says, 'I am making what you owe me into zakāh, so take it [as such]' — this is not valid. But if he gives it to him with the [unstated] intention that the recipient will use it to repay him, or says, 'Repay what you owe me, so that I may [then separately] give it to you as zakāh,' or the debtor himself says, 'Give it to me, so that I may [then] repay you with it' — this is valid, and there is no binding obligation for the recipient to actually fulfill this [informal understanding]." And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

When does the time for Udhiyah begin?

 
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The permissible timeframe for Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) begins on the day of Eid al-Adha—the 10th of Dhul-Hijjah—once the sun has risen and a period of time sufficient to perform two brief prayer units (Rak'ahs) and two short sermons (Khutbahs) has passed. This window remains open until the sun sets on the final day of Tashreeq, which is the 13th of Dhul-Hijjah.
 
Our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), said: "Every valley of Mina is a place of sacrifice, and slaughtering may be done throughout all the days of Tashreeq." (Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi and Ibn Hibban)
 
The days of Tashreeq refer to the 11th, 12th, and 13th of Dhul-Hijjah.
 
The most virtuous time to perform the sacrifice is immediately after concluding the Eid prayer, based on the statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "The first thing we do on this day of ours is to pray, then we return and offer our sacrifice. Whoever does that has acted in accordance with our Sunnah (tradition), and whoever slaughters before that, it is merely meat he has provided for his family; it has nothing to do with the ritual sacrifice." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
 
What is meant here is an estimation of time rather than the actual performance of the prayer itself, as our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), used to offer the Eid al-Adha prayer immediately after sunrise.
 
The sacrifice is valid if performed at any time during these designated days, whether by day or by night, though slaughtering at night is considered disliked (Makruh). And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.