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Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 04-01-2021

Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation

 

 

A group of people thinks that sternness, mercilessness, anger and violence embody strength or manhood and they give a person control over different situations, however, this is incorrect. In principle, forbearance, leniency and kindness are the basis for dealing with others and they bring hearts and minds together. Allah The Almighty Says (What means): "It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." [Al-Imran/159]. Thus, kindness, leniency and forbearance pass on to the next generations and love bears the fruit of righteousness, which is the golden key for the hearts of all people.

 

Therefore, in several narrations, Prophet (PBUH) urged Muslims to observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with others. This is in order for a Muslim to have self-control and become a successful role model in his relations with others: in-laws, children, neighbors, and colleagues…etcetera. 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

Moreover, 'Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased with her), the wife of Allah's Apostle (PBUH), reported that Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "'Aisha, verily Allah is Kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness)." [Moslim].

 

In addition, Jarir b. 'Abdullah (May Allah Be Pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (PBUH) as saying:

"He who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good and he who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good." [Moslim].

 

Since violence usually stems from anger, our Prophet (PBUH) forbade it and commanded us not to get angry. He (PBUH) said: "On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "Counsel me, so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." [Al-Bukhari]. 

 

Furthermore, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage." [Al-Bukhari].

 

Kindness, leniency and forbearance are the bricks of healthy human relationships and each Muslim should maintain his different relations according to this scale. And Allah is the One Who Bestows all that is good. 

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

My maternal aunt`s son is living abroad; however, both our families have recited Al-Fatehah declaring our engagement. We have been engaged for three months, but the marriage contract wasn`t concluded because he couldn`t come to Jordan since my mother and brothers are abroad. Is it allowed that he sees my picture without Hijab knowing that the marriage contract will be concluded at the first opportunity?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Betrothal is a promise to marry, so your betrothed is a stranger to you and isn`t permitted to look at you even through a picture. Once your marriage contract is concluded, you become husband and wife and he can look at you as much as he wants. Moreover, he may deputize his father to carry out the procedures of the marriage on his behalf. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

I had my menstrual period at the beginning of Ramadan for six days, then it ended and I became pure. After four days, I started noticing some blood again, which has lasted for two days now, but it is not as heavy as menstrual blood. Is this blood considered menstrual blood, and what is the ruling regarding my prayers, fasting, and reading the Quran during this period?
 

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad.
The minimum duration of menstruation is one day and one night, and its maximum is fifteen days. Any blood beyond this period is considered irregular bleeding (Istihada). Since the bleeding did not exceed fifteen days, it is considered menstrual blood within the regular cycle. Therefore, you should not pray or fast until the bleeding stops and the signs of purity appear. If the bleeding stops before fifteen days from when it first started, then all the blood you saw is considered menstrual blood, and you must make up the fasts, but not the prayers. If it exceeds fifteen days, then the first six days are menstrual blood, and the blood that follows is considered irregular bleeding. Your prayers and fasting are valid, and there is no issue with them. And Allah Knows Best."
 
*This answer was updated on [18/5/2023].

What is the ruling of Sharia when husband kicks the wife out of his house without a lawful excuse? Moreover, in such case, when she stays at her parents's house for several months, is she allowed to claim maintenance through a Sharia court?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It isn`t permissible to kick wife out of house save for a valid reason since Almighty Allah Says (What means): "O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good." [An-Nisa`/19]. In addition, it is the duty of the husband to provide for his wife and children in kindness, and this includes food, garment and residence. Moreover, dialogue and supplication are the best means for solving marital problems; however, the wronged party may resort to court. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

I have vowed that if Allah gave me what I wanted so bad, I would fast every Monday and Thursday to the rest of my life; unless there is a valid excuse hindering me from doing so. Fortunately, Allah gave me what I wanted, so I started fasting Mondays and Thursdays; however, I stopped out of laziness. What is the Sharia ruling on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Allah The Almighty described the righteous people of Jannah where He Said (What means): "They perform (their) vows, and they fear a Day whose evil flies far and wide." [Al-Insan/7]. Accordingly, you must do your best to fulfill your vow. However, if you are unable to do so, then feed a poor person for every missed day of fast (About half a JD), and if you are unable to do that, then offer expiation for breaking a vow, which is feeding ten poor Muslims (About half a JD for each), ask Allah for forgiveness and increase remembrance of Him. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.