What is the ruling on performing istinja' before every ablution?
Istinja' is not from the conditions for the validity of ablution. It is only obligatory for prayer when there is impurity from urine or stool on the private part, or if there is fear of the impurity spreading to the body or clothing. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on swallowing phlegm while fasting?
If a fasting person intentionally swallows phlegm, their fast is invalid, as it is possible to avoid it.
However, if they swallow it unintentionally, their fast remains valid.
Phlegm is impure and should be avoided.
What should a person, who doubts the validity of his Wudu, or over performs it, do?
One who doubts the validity of his/her Wudu while performing it should redo it until he/she is certain of having attained purity. But, if doubt was after having performed Wudu, then he/she should not pay attention to that as doubt after the end of an act of worship does not count. This is of course in case doubt was within the reasonable limits since once it goes beyond that, it becomes a whispering of the Shaytaan (devil) which he/she should ignore as the Wudu is valid.
What is the ruling on attending relatives` parties held in public halls, or hotels since if we don`t, we will be subjected to their admonition?
If such parties involve mixing between men and women, or forbidden acts such as listening to songs with sinful lyrics, then attending them is forbidden from the view point of Sharia since people`s admonition is nothing compared to Allah`s, The Almighty`s, wrath.