Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.
What is meant by "Recalcitrance of the woman toward her husband doesn`t render her divorced"?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It means that her being recalcitrant (Nashiz) doesn`t make her divorced. Rather, she has to be divorced by husband or Sharia judge to be considered divorced. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is performing Umrah an obligation for who is capable. Is he accountable for not performing it in this case?
Umrah is an obligation once in a lifetime for every Muslim. When physical and financial ability is present, it is preferable to perform Umrah, as well as Hajj. If one can afford to perform Umrah but not Hajj, then they should begin with Umrah, especially since Hajj nowadays is not accessible to everyone who wishes to perform it. In contrast, Umrah is more open and easier to undertake. And Allah knows best.