Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible for a person to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) to his daughter-in-law?
Yes, it is permissible for a person to give the Zakah to his daughter-in-law if she was poor, and none provided for particularly by whom are obliged to provide for her. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to offer prayer at home, or should it be offered in the mosque?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds. It isn`t preferable for the man to pray at home as praying in the mosque is twenty seven times more rewarding. Therefore, this should motivate him to offer prayers in the mosque. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.