All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
One continues to wonder how could some sons and daughters disobey their parents and deny their favors and kindness to them!
Don`t they ponder upon the words of Allah Who Says {What means}: "Then, is it to be expected of you, if ye were put in authority, that ye will do mischief in the land, and break your ties of kith and kin? Such are the men whom God has cursed for He has made them deaf and blinded their sight." {Mohammad, 22-23}. Don`t they also wonder upon the words of the Prophet (PBUH) who says: "Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the major sins?" Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked this question thrice. We said: "Yes, O Messenger of Allah. (Please inform us.)". He said: "Ascribing partners to Allah, and to be undutiful to your parents". Messenger of Allah (PBUH) sat up from his reclining position and said, "And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony; I warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony". Messenger of Allah (PBUH) kept on repeating that warning till we wished he would stop." {Al-Bukhari & Muslim}.
However, we say to the father whose children has disobeyed him: "If you have nothing to do with this, then you have the right to be mad, feel sorry for yourself and them and no one can blame you for this. Still, it is better to forgive and return evil with good for this is more beautiful in the Sight of Allah.
But, if you haven`t been treating them kindly and are responsible for this miserable situation, then you have to sit with yourself for a minute and try to make amends. Anyways, to disown one's son/daughter while declaring that your are angry with one or both and that you are abandoning them for their being disobedient is permissible particularly if they are the ones who started this. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.