Is it incumbent on a family to provide for its old handicapped son and take care of him?

The family and relatives - e.g. brothers - of such a person are obliged to spend on him and take care of him if he didn`t have money of his own.

Is hair extension permissible?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds 

It is impermissible for the man and the woman to apply a human`s hair as extension, but using artificial hair is permissible for the married woman after obtaining the approval of her husband so long as non-Mahrams don`t see her. And Allah Knows Best.

Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?

No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.

Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.