Does the deceased hear the supplications or recitations of those visiting his/her grave? And does making constant supplications for the deceased who didn`t adhere to performing the prescribed prayers ameliorate his/her affliction?
Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.
In principle, the dead hear the living since it has been rigorously authenticated that the Prophet (PBUH) ordered the bodies of the idolaters slain in the Battle of Badr to be buried. He then approached them and called them one by one and said: "Have you found what your Lord promised to be true for we have found what our Lord promised us to be true." Umar asked him: "O messenger of God! Why do you speak to lifeless bodies?" The Prophet (PBUH) replied: "By the One Who has sent me with the truth! You do not hear my words better than they do except that they cannot respond." [Agreed upon].
However, not all the deceased are in the same situation because Allah The Almighty Knows: "Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up." [Al-Mu`minun/100]. Moreover, supplication reaches the deceased. And Allah Knows Best..
My mother is 70 years old and wishes to perform Hajj and Umrah, as she has never done so before. However, she also takes care of my ill father and is afraid of falling ill herself. What should she do?
If this is the obligatory Hajj – meaning she has not previously performed Hajj or Umrah – then it is permissible for her to go even without her husband's approval. However, she must travel with a Mahram (a male guardian) or a trustworthy group of women, and she should leave someone to care for her husband and attend to his needs. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a wife to boycott (not to attend to his different needs) her husband?
It isn`t permissible for the woman to boycott her husband unless he is the reason behind that, and it is recommended that both spouses seek the advice of righteous people to make reconciliation.
Is it permissible to combine and shorten prayers at home before traveling?
It is impermissible to combine and shorten prayers at home before traveling because a person is called a traveler once he/she departs the borders of his/her country, and offering prayer that way was originally intended to exempt a traveler. And Allah Knows Best.