Date : 20-04-2010

Question :

What is the ruling on visiting graves by men and women on Eid day, and are there any rules that should be observed in this regard because many visitors-Particularly women-engage in crying and lamenting? What is the ruling on giving sweets to people visiting graveyards?

The Answer :

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.

It is permissible for men and women to visit graves on Eid day and other days as well because the Prophet (PBUH) said: " (In the past) I forbade you from visiting graves, but visit them now." {Muslim}. At-Tirmizi added to this Hadith: "Visiting graves reminds people of the world to come". The aforementioned Hadith refers to both men and women.

However, visitors should do their best not to commit any of the following violations: mixing, wearing cosmetics, indecent exposure, and shaking hands with non-Mahrams. Although all of these matters are forbidden regardless of when or where they take place, it is more sinful and more prohibited to commit them at a place where a person should be learning a lesson.

Moreover, Allah Doesn`t Hold a person accountable for crying because of being overwhelmed with sorrow; rather, He Holds him/her to account for engaging in acts of lamenting. This is because the Prophet (PBUH) said: "He who slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes and follows the ways and traditions of the Days of Ignorance is not one of us." {Bukhari & Muslim}. Although giving sweets on Eid day is permissible, graveyards aren`t the proper place for doing so because a person is supposed to be learning a lesson, not eating and drinking. Therefore, it is better for grave visitors to suffice by distributing money amongst the poor. And Allah Knows Best.